Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize