Reggie can tackle my bush.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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