it was like his penis was on wheels.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
