im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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