I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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