I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
