whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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