Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Even my vagina gasped.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
