i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize