I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
