There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
