What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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