we're blogging at a bar
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
