You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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