ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
