so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
