I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
