porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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