sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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