Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
