So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
