You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
