idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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