I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
