State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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