She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
