I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
