fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize