Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
