Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
