It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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