If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Too much gin, very little bucket
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
