Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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