I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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