I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
