"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
