i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
