My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
