like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
