I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
