i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
