remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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