No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
