what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
