God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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