I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
