dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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