Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
