Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We left the knife in your bed.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
