I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
