the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
