hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
