Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize
