It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
