I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
ok first of all what the fuck
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
