she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
