i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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