Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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