the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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