windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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