You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
