Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
