when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
