You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
