K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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