she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize