Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
