butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
