Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
