they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
