It's just like the Real World with babies
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Damn victory sex feels great
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
