I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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