I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
