What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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