For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
