And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Never underestimate the power of titties
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
