Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
